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FUNNY FACEBOOK POSTS

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[+] ballot by nuckinfutz

What are some of the funniest Facebook statuses you have seen?

Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them
You can't be late until you show up
War doesn't determine who's right, it determines who's left
Life's a bitch, if it were easy it'd be a slut.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but I'm actively waiting for my problems to go away.
I wouldn't say you're stupid. You are, but I wouldn't say it.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy any evidence that you ever tried.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
How did you fit a lion in your pocket? No wonder it's ready to roar.
When snorting coke, be careful. It is extremely difficult to get an ice cube out of a nose.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I'm flattered.
Bored? Simply send a text message to a random number saying..."I'm Pregnant!"
We have so much in common. You want to travel, and I want you to go.
I married my wife for her looks, but not the ones she’s been giving me lately!
You’re only young once. If you act like an idiot after that, you’re gonna need a new excuse.
Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
Ha! I just finished a puzzle in 8 months and the box said 2-3 years!
I just scrolled so far back on Facebook's Timeline it logged me back onto MySpace.
DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people.
If you're happy and you know it share your meds
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